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The mind boggles when it comes to the types of injuries sportsmen have to endure for the love of their game. We’re not talking a bit of ankle sprain or man-flu. Just honest to goodness face grimacing injuries that wouldn’t go amiss in a Jet Li flick!

Aye there’s method in our madness and we’ll get there in the end! We refer of course to this weekend’s rugby action when England takes on the All Blacks in Auckland. 

Mike Tindall is back on the squad to play in first test match since his Six Nations injury. He landed on the boot of Wales winger Mark Jones and get this, punctured his lung, was left with a hole in his liver and …

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For months earlier this year it was all about Jonny and Danny. Correction: Jonny or Danny. Who should play for England at fly-half, the famous No.10 position? Jonny Wilkinson or Danny Cipriani? For a while it was Jonny, in the end it was Danny, and in the end he was quite brilliant. But we’re asking a different question now, as England face summer tests against the Barbarians and then a double-header against New Zealand. It’s not Jonny or Danny anymore. It’s who else?

Because Jonny is injured again. We’re not sure what’s wrong this time; he’s always knackered these days. It could be his back, or his neck, or his toes, or his nose, or his eyelash. And Danny – poor …

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Yes this weekend is going to be jam-packed with the big sporting events. There’s Ricky Hatton and Juan Lazcano at it in Manchester, the beautiful people will be hot-footing from Cannes Film Festival to Monaco for posturing and rubber-burning at the Monaco Grand Prix, not to mention the Heineken Cup Final , The Championship Final Play-offs and The French Open Tennis starting. But before you wet your pants, take a deep yet whiffy breath because we have saved the best for last.

For it is time to give those moth-eaten leather-elbow patched tweed jackets their annual airing at the Cheese Rolling Festival in Gloucester? Actually it’s not posh at all and attire has nothing to do with enjoying chasing a huge …

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Oh dear oh dear it’s just not looking great for Boy Wonder Danny Cipriani. He will now miss England’s tour of New Zealand after fracture dislocation of his right ankle during the Wasps’ 21 - 10 victory over Bath yesterday.

This is bad news and means that despite success for his squad in the semi-final play-offs, Cipriani will be out of action for the next six months, so he can kiss goodbye to the home autumn internationals against Australia, South Africa and New Zealand at Twickenham on 15 November. 

The injury came in the 49th minute as an Olly Barkley tackle meant Cipriani got stuck at the bottom of the pile. Tom Voyce was also taken off after a dislocated shoulder …

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